Being a blogger for almost three years is something I would say has never been easy for me all these while. I have always been questioning myself why creating a blog when I am not even good at speaking what is up on my mind. In fact, I was never sure about keeping my personal blog alive when I first created it because it takes a whole lot amount of effort in keeping it going.
If you were to ask me to describe myself in a short sentence, I would say, I am not who you think I am. I have no idea how to even describe how complicated I am a person, but as complicated as you think I am going to be, I am just that.
I will be turning 21 this year. To me, 21 is not just a figure but a very important day to tell myself that I have come this far not because of anyone else but God's grace towards this life of mine. I looked back and I realised how much I have changed. From someone who used to worry about everything under the stars, to someone who finally stopped then rest in the faith she just received, she knows this is definitely the right path that she has taken on.
While you may think that my life has always been smooth sailing, I would say it has never been so. People often say that only when you reach a certain age then will you begin to have in you, the wisdom you need for this life of yours. I was never sure about what that sentence actually means until the day I got into the polytechnic of my choice.
I have always been a rebellious kid, throwing assessment books around when I was asked to complete all of it. I just could not sit still because I dislike studying. Apparently, I did badly for my PSLE and O' Level. It was not because studying was not my forte but because I gave up on myself thinking that I just could not do it. It was only until I started out my first year in poly that I told myself to not be discouraged because I believe that failing myself is not the only thing I could do. Making myself study was never an easy task because I know that I almost failed. It was especially tough when all odds were against me. It was to my surprise that I actually managed to pull through despite the tough battle I had against an opponent I know I almost lost myself to. That opponent is none the less me, myself.
Ever heard of the sentence, "You are your own worst enemy."?
If not for Him, I would have lost in that battle. Honestly speaking, I would not be here in this university today if not for His grace towards my life. While it may seem difficult for a JC student to get into a local university, the intensity of it is not to be compared with a polytechnic student who has only one-third chances of getting in. That is something a polytechnic student would agree with because in this world today, that is the exact reality we were all put forth to, throughout our three years of studying in the polytechnic.
I would not say that life is unfair because we are all put to different situations that could bring the best out of us. Only when you are being exposed to areas you are not comfortable at, then will you be able to see yourself growing and becoming better. Because you are your own worst enemy, you should never compare yourself with the others you thought are better than you. Even if it is the truth, you will still have to tell yourself that you are to only compare yourself with who you were a year ago because you have to believe that you are the best. Learning to appreciate yourself for who you are is something I am in the process of doing and I hope this sentence can reach out to you as well.
